Seto would NEVER do THAT!
by Cotoprius
Summary: Title explains all. This is all my friend's work, she only is sending it to me to put up. Enjoy!
1. First of all

**List of things SK would never do, even under extreme torture, or embarassing situations he would never get into.**

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**1. Wear a frilly pink ballet dress.**

**2.Wear white fluffy bunny slippers.**

**3. Drink decaf coffee.**

**4. Get a speeding ticket by the police.**

**5. Slip on a bannana peel.**

**6. Trip on the stairs.**

**7. Run up the down escalator.**

**8.Get his silver trenchcoat stuck in an elevator door.**

**9.Get a pie in his face.**

**10. Accidentally hitting Delete on his company's files.**

**11. Respond politely to screaming fangirls.**

**12. Walk into a door.**

**13.Wear a dorky marching band outfit playing the tuba.**

**14. Step in dog doo.**

**15. Accidentally putting his BEWD cards in a paper shredder.**

**16. Lose his wallet.**

**17. Get a 2.0 GPA**

**18. His community hours required for graduation.**

**19. Call Joey by his first name.**

**20. Styling his hair into a mohawk...**

**21. Or dyeing it with pink highlihts...(but blue looks better...)**

**22.Resist Mokuba's puppy eyes.**

**23. Forget to put gas in his jet.**

**24. Forget to recharge his duel disk's battery.**

**25. Getting a F on a test... (unless it was on Romeo and Juliet...)**

**26. Break Dancing!**

**27. Or Disco!**

**28. Leaving his diary around for Mokuba to exploit**

**29. Admit that Yuugi is a better duelist.**

**29. Getting whacked with a tomatoe.**

**30. Yell "I'm a potato!" while wearing a Mexican sombrero and shaking macaras. (uh...it was really random...sweatdrop)**

**31. Try to make brownies and end up setting fire to half the mansion.**

**32. Yell "#$&!" because he stubbed his toe.**

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My friend will make more, and send more to me when she gets the chance. XD


	2. Maraca Madness

My friend's finally updated! With a story no less. All words past this pompous, dull paragraph is hers. Bye! takes cue to leave pops back up Actually…nevermind…you'll figure it out. leaves again

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**To my reviewers: I'm sooo dumb! I forgot to put a disclaimer last time!Mentally slapping myself So this time I will type short stories for items on my list.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own Yugioh! Shonen Jump and what's-his-name does!**

**30. He'll never wear a Mexican Hat shake marcaras, dancing around yelling "I'm a potatoe!"**

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It was a normal morning of school for the rich CEO, the one and only Seto Kaiba. After fighting off hordes of screaming fangirls in the hallways he settled in his seat at his homeroom, took out some complicated and thick novel and began to read, while ignoring the chaos that reigned around him at the beginning of school. Some guys were tossing spitballs, giggly girls were gossisiping, while some teens were just chilling to their Ipods. The classroom loudspeakers squeaked and the principal cleared his throat for the morning announcements Ahem. 

"Good morning students, I have some exciting news."

Most of the class just spaced out and proceeded with whatever they were doing at that time.

"This month is our school's annual Multicultural festival. Everyone Must participate as this will count as 50 of your elective grade."

At this, about half of the classroom quieted down and paid attention.

"This special event requires you to sign up for an event to participate in that relates to your elective. For example, if you are in dance class, you may perform a cultural dance, or if you're in Home Economics, you may set up a food booth for a certain country. Sign-up sheets are located in the hallway near the bulletin board. If you do not sign up for an event, your teacher will _assign_ to you something to do so _everyone _must participate. Have a nice day."

The class began to chatter about what they would do for the festival, all except for one certain blue-eyed, chestnut-haired millionaire, who was absorbed in Chapter 70 of his book.

As the school bell rang for the next class, students swarmed out of classrooms and crowded round the sign up sheets.

"Hey, buddy, we could do our victory can-can dance. Would that count?"

"Joey I seriously doubt that." (To watch Honda and Jonouchi's victory dance, go to YouTube and watch the episode on Monster Capsules. It's hilarious! Lol!)

" I'm NOT signing up to be a waiter...those outfits are kinda dorky..."

The only one oblivious to the chatter is Seto. Sigh He'll never know what he's gotten himself into.

It was Seto's last class. Study Hall. Kaiba was looking forward to the end of the day spent with the Geek Squad and other not-as-intelligent-as-he-is people. It's not like Kaiba_ needed_ study hall. It was just an excuse for him to work on his latest inventions. His teacher mentally prepared himself for intimidation and summoned Seto to his desk.

"Mr.Kaiba...ahem...you know this festival is quite important and I ...ah...noticed that you haven't signed up for anything."

Kaiba gave him one of his infamous icy glares.

"So?" (His tone of voice gave away that he clearly couldn't care less about the festival)

"Mr.Kaiba...this allows me no choice but to hand you the last job of...uhh..Mexican Hat dancer announcer..."

"Excuse ME?" :crickets chirping:

"Umm..here's your outfit and your script..the festival's this weekend...bye!" :Briiiing:

Poor Seto was left staring in shock at the packet. He knew he couldn't fail his elective...He was a Kaiba! This was ridiculous! Nobody ordered around a CEO! Unfortunately for the millionaire teen, this time bribery won't get him anywhere...

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Saturday... 

The festival was a big sucess. Colorful decorations, lively entertainment, and tantalizing and interesting food smells drifted around the school. People eagerly took their seats in anticipation of the cultural dances.

"The first dance is from Mexico!" Mexican music playing

Seto in the backstage still couldn't believe how he had gotten himself into this. Mental note to self: in the future, pay attention to the announcements.

Recognizing his cue, Kaiba stiffly marched out there wearing a ridiculous green-red outfit, with a large sombrero on his head, and green-red macaras. He was supposed to say "Welcome to Mexico" in Spanish, but due to his atrocious Spanish he yelled:

"I'm a potaoe!"

Silence. Unatural silence filled the auditorium. :Sweatdrop: Then everyone started hysterically giggling. Yugi almost rushed Joey to the hospital because his face turned purple from rolling on the floor in laughter.(It's not like Joey would understand Spanish...It was just the hilarious outfit...) Kaiba was humiliated and he knew it. He gathered as much dignity as he could and stalked backstage. Maybe he should skip school next week. Or fire the idiots who arranged the Multicultural festival. He was definitely not going to let this go without revenge on someone.

"Hmph...the things I do for my GPA..."

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Whaddaya think? Good? Bad? Funny? Should I keep on typing these stories? Review pleazzzzze! 


	3. Brownies sur le fire!

_Editor: Its not her fault! Its all me. I'm the one whos slow to update and shes the one that s constantly reminding me to do it. So here are two chapters I should have given at least two months ago. Sorry again._

_P.S I'm italic, she's bold._

**

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Seto would never make brownies and end up setting fire to half the Kaiba mansion**

**Disclaimer: Me No Own Yugioh!**

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Title: Brownie Boo Boos ...But if you have a better idea, just change the title...

It was a typical start to the weekend for the wealthy, all-powerful CEO. He woke up, selected his special gravity-defying trenchcoat of the day, snapped at the maids to serve him super caffeinated coffee, grumbled at breakfast...(Man, what a boring Saturday). However, today something would be different...

Mokuba appeared at breakfast, hyper about the weekend, (probably from all that sugar from chocolate and Peeps at Easter...not like they were religious or anything).

"Hey big brother?"

"What ?" Sigh

"Guess what day is tomorrow...(trying to hurry the conversation along, Mokuba answered his own question), It's MY B-DAY!"

Kaiba sighed, and closed his extremely high-tech laptop, expecting that Mokuba would ask him for something expensive and different, like a mini motorcycle or...

He was interrupted by his thoughts from Mokuba's exuberant chattering...

"...and since I love sweets, I want homemade brownies from you!"

"Did I just hear you correctly Mokuba, or did you just asked me to make brownies...?"

"Yup!...Hey it's time for Xialin Showndown...I LOVE that show...See ya!"

Next Day...

Brownies were harder than he thought. First he sent his staff all over town looking for the best ingredients and chocolate. Then he had to open the bags and find the kitchen equipment. The instructions were a little complicated for him...how do you crack an egg...and he got really messy.

"Hmm...First preheat the oven..."

Instead of turning the dial to the right temperature, he raised it a 500 degrees Celsius, to speed it up. Then he couldn't mix the batter correctly and shove the whole batter in, eggshells and all. Unfortunately, the oven could only handle so much pressure and...

KABOOM!

The mansion was on fire, but the servants managed to put it out. Mokuba came home from See's candy shop, and was greeted with a blackened spot, where there used to be half and elegant mansion, and a very grumpy brother in a silver trenhcoat drenched with butter, flour, chocolate, and eggshells.

Mokuba's response?

"Whoa...what happened?"


	4. Getting sober Seto?

_As Promised._

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**Disclaimer: Me no own YGO or Hotelier**

60: Serenity will probably never be Seto's girlfriend

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To my readers: Okay, I know this story is supposed to be a comedy but I had this idea for_ weeks..._and if I don't put it in my head will explode! Readers thanx for your comments put more comments pleaz!

Background info: I luv watching Korea dramas like Lovers in Paris or Full House and it's amazing how in all of them I could get ideas for Seto/Shizaku(Serenity). This chapter is based on an episode of Hotelier.

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Intro: Fast forward the YGO gang 5 years. Serenity has a fantastic job working as a manager at Tokyo Millions Hotel. Unfortunately the hotel earns enough money to get noticed by billionaire Seto Kaiba who originally planned to take over the hotel and build a new Kaiba Corps headquarters next to it. Posing as a guest at the hotel, he meets Serenity through some strange twist of fate. He at first schemed to get close to Serenity to discover the hotel's weaknesses, but after more than ten dates, Seto has discovered to his surprise that he unintentionally fell in love with Serenity. By then he's too far in his plan of taking over Tokyo Millions to back out. This is a conversation Seto and Serenity have on the hotel's balcony.

It was a cool night and she focused on the view below, a fruitless attempt to distract her mind from_ him. _His true intent for visiting the hotel came as more than a shock to her. Yet here they were, in spite of them being on opposite sides of the invisible battle that raged in the hotel. A single question burst unplanned from her lips,

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He studied her with those eyes-those ice blue eyes-and stared in the distance at the lights that sparkled throughout Tokyo. Something flickered across his expression...was it regret?

"I planned to but the time was never right. Actually... you never had your laptop fixed _did _you?"

"E-mail? You sent me an e-mail?" Her tone was skeptical.

" You never talked to me when you found_ that out..._and besides...it's easier to communicate on technology."

"You never told me you were adopted either... or what happened to Mokuba."

"In business and competition that would be viewed as a weakness."

"So.. your secret...or should I call it your weakness?...Am I the first person to hear this?"

"As a matter of fact...besides Mokuba you're the first person I ever told anything."

"How do you feel about Mokuba returning from college in America?"

For a minute there was nothing but silence, and with some hesitation he answered.

"I'm feeling kind of scared."

"You the merciless hunter, _scared_?" There was a tinge of a smirk in her voice.

"Hey! I thought we agreed _not_ to talk about work!"

_Flashback_

_Seto was giving Mokuba a few tips how to succeed. _

_"To be a great hunter, you must never look into a deer's eyes before pulling the trigger. A hunter must be merciless."_

A chilly wind howled through the balcony and shivering, Serenity considered going to bed.

"So...I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Let's meet for lunch. 12:30"

"Fine, but I'm treating you to ramen noodles."


End file.
